Navigating The End of a Relationship When There Are Children Involved
The end of a relationship is never a nice thing, but it can be even more difficult when there are children involved. Then, you’re not just focused on how the two of you will fare after the union has been dissolved; you need to think about how your actions will affect the children in your life, who may be too young to fully understand what is going on. There are ways to deal with this, however, that’ll make it easier on all those involved.
Of course, you’re going to be pretty torn up that the relationship is coming to an end, but, for the sake of your children, it’s important that you stay positive. While it’s tempting to adopt an air of doom and gloom, you’ll need to think about how this will affect the little ones, who will see the change in attitude but have little understanding of what has caused it. Mindset is everything. Treat it as a terrible, end of the world scenario, and you’ll understandably be difficult to be around. Treat it as one of those things that happen, and a way to make positive changes to your life, and that’s what you’ll reflect.
You’re unlikely to be best friends with your ex. However, though you may want some time apart while you go through the legal separation proceedings, there will (hopefully) come the point where you’re able to be on friendly terms with your partner. Even though it may be difficult in the beginning, it’s worth sucking up the emotions and trying your hardest to make it work, for the sake of your children. While you don’t have to speak on the phone five times a day, the atmosphere will be much nicer if you’re able to be in the same room without descending into an argument.
Get into a Routine
Children need a routine in order to be at their best, so work hard to create one, whatever it may be. If you’re sharing custody, then make sure you’re sticking to the same days and hours each week. It’ll be even better if you can both agree to live nearby to one another so that your children are able to adjust to the new circumstances of not having one of their parents in the family home. It’ll be much easier if they’re just around the corner.
Take Care of Yourself
Your focus should be on the well-being of your children, but for you to be the best parent that you can be, you’ll need to ensure that you’re taking care of yourself. Don’t put on a front: feel free to break down (in private), talk to friends, and so on. You only need to put on a brave face in front of your kids. Eat well, exercise, and you’ll be up off the mat in no time.
It’s not easy to go through a divorce, but with the advice above, as well as giving it time, you’ll be able to create a new, special kind of unit that works for you, your ex-partner, and your children.