A Guide For Single Mother’s Dating
Single motherhood is a challenging time, but it needn’t be insurmountable. It might be that you and your child have come upon hard times, but it’s likely that the relationship ended because it needed to. It might be that you’re in a much better place than you might otherwise have been. If your partner has decided to leave for whatever reason during this time, they didn’t deserve to be a part of your child’s life in the first place. If they left due to more unfortunate circumstances, then you have every right to reflect, heal and then put yourself out there again when the right time comes.
However, dating as a single mother can be tough. There are many reasons why you might feel less confident than before having the child, and finding the right person can be a little more challenging. However, with our simple and handy guide, you should hopefully begin to enact steps that remind you of your worth, which is immeasurable.
You might decide to use all or only one of the tips listed ahead, but we recommend that you at least consider their use. It could be that the best you is waiting around the corner, and incredibly happy times lie ahead. First, however, you must focus on yourself alongside the health of your child, and that begins with the following pre-date tips:
Simply finding the time for an evening off can be difficult when you have children to take care of. This shouldn’t be considered a negative, of course, your children will come first no matter who asks you out on a date. If you feel like time can be afforded, however, perhaps asking a friend or relative to look after your children for the evening can work wonders. It might be you need to call in a favor, or perhaps look after their infant on a future night, but bringing in someone you trust to help you can allow you to let your hair down on the night, and not worry overly about what how your kids are doing.
Don’t Force It
You are a single parent. That means you have managed to stay a competent parent with little to no help. That means you are an amazing person, worthy of all the credit in the world. This means you are much more than anything anyone can present you with, of either gender. Knowing your worth here is important. In fact, it’s the most important part of this entire list. Without knowing that you are vibrant, caring and strong, you might fall victim to thinking the pregnancy has made you unattractive, or that having a child lessens your market value in any way at all. These ideas are simply thoughts that will rush through an anxious mind, and not part of reality in the slightest. The truth is that you are as worthy as you allow yourself to be, and sometimes you simply have to decide that you are. That will allow you to go into the date without forced expectations, reciting lines in your head, or simply being anything other than your genuine self.
Remember, in your children you have the emotional core you will ever need at home. Dating and potentially forming a relationship is simply an added bonus, and never a common requirement. Without the need to force matters in a certain way, you will feel more competent and relaxed in the date. Then, instead of focusing on how you come across to an extreme degree, you can look over the table and see how the person you are dating is, and assess if they are good enough for you and your child, not the other way around. This really matters, so be sure to foster this mindset.
Of course, it always pays to try and look your best on the date. This is for your own confidence and not to impress anyone. There are a few things you might not have considered since having your child, as often self-maintenance comes second to looking after your child. For example, when was the last time you enjoyed being pampered at the spa? It might simply be a salon visit or a manicure that you enjoy, and all this works well to help you feel your best self once again. You might feel that attractive past self-reawakening, helping you feel wonderful.
A good blend of acceptance and self-remedy can be used on the issues that might not shift so well. For example, sometimes stretch marks are here to stay for a little while, and applying aloe vera might not shift them in time. That’s fine, and to be expected for the beautiful body of a recent mother. If looking for natural skincare remedies that can also work for your child and act as toxin-free when contacting them, consider visiting the purpose-built Mustelausa.com for a wide range of solutions.
Simply undergoing a facial, plucking your nose and eyebrow hairs, and generally ensuring you get a good nights sleep beforehand can work wonders with 90% of recovery before your first date as a parent.
Your body will have changed during the course of the pregnancy. This is neither good or bad, just different. It’s not that you may have gotten a little fatter or much thinner, as both of these are possible. It might be that your body shape and composition has changed a little. For example, your breasts might be a little bigger than before on account of breastfeeding. Your hips might be a little wider. You might not fill out your clothes as you once did, or need to go up a size. If you can afford it, simply tailoring your current clothes professionally or with a sewing machine can help, as can selling off your old goods and acquiring new ones through an online auction house.
When you dress fittingly, not only do you help let go of the past, but reinvent yourself with a wardrobe that suits you now, not who you used to be. This can do wonders for your confidence and feeling comfortable in your skin, no matter if you do decide to attend the date or not.
Lay Cards On The Table
It’s important to lay all your cards upon the table during your first meeting. Being as open as possible about being a single parent (ideally, before the date begins) can help the other person accept that ahead of time. It’s often something that shouldn’t matter, but if people have that sprung on them during the date, it can change their perception a little bit. This is because it signifies that you thought that detail not worthy of mentioning. You deserve to mention it, because having a child is not a crime, it’s beautiful. However, some people are not ready for that level of commitment, so ensuring they know and are cool with this will allow you to proceed and get to know them without any strange and isolating social pressures.
It might be they are more than happy with this, have a child or two themselves, or have always wanted children but cannot due to medical reasons. When this conversation is had ahead of time, both you and your date will feel more comfortable with one another from the start.
Connect With Who You Are
You can only be your best self if you’re happy to connect with who you are. This means being completely honest with yourself about your intentions for the date. This might be simply listing reasons as to why you want this date. Is the person truly compatible with you, or are you simply more interested in companionship?
It might not be that a certain intention is wrong, but a little time meditating and reflecting on this move will either help you decide a better one, go ahead or simply help you stop overthinking matters. After a hiatus from dating, this last thing can be a massive positive.
It pays to look for warning signs on the date. Things you might have let go when single and alone might mean all the difference now. You need to pass every perception of the other person through a ‘is this healthy for me and my child?’ filter, and without the ability to do that you might fall into inviting someone unsuitable into your home. It might sound like something you would never let happen, but this does happen all the time. It’s important to stay vigilant about these matters, and with that you’ll be able to truly allow for a clear viewing of warning signs, or to find the good in someone else.
With these tips, not only will you feel confident, but you’ll have your priorities in order and be able to keep a positive eye upon the entire affair. Most importantly, you will not be transfixed with an intended result. This will allow you to enjoy the date, but not worry about where it might lead. It will also help you avoid disappointment when you inevitably find at least one person unsuitable. We wish you the best of luck in your efforts, and remember that you will at least always have your beautiful child to come home to, and that’s the best reward of all.